1. Not that I’ve been keeping track, but it’s been 156 days since I last saw you.
2. Before we parted 156 days ago, I hugged you with everything in me; like you were the last person I would ever hold.
(In a way, you were)
3. Whenever I close my eyes, I see the freckles that spread across the expanse of your nose, the birthmark on your index finger, and the moles that dot your back. Your eyes, as blue as the sky and as soft as the clouds that float in it, stare through the darkness of my mind, hanging just above the sharp curve of your jaw.
4. The first time I drank coffee, it was with you. I’ve only had it a handful of times since then, but I will forever taste the sweetness of your name amidst all of the bitterness. I’ll keep drinking it.
5. I got Drake’s new album for Christmas, and all I hear whenever I listen to it is your complaints. I know, I know. Jay Z is the only rapper worth listening to.
(But if it means that you’ll use your breath explaining that to me, I’ll listen to Drake every damn day for the rest of my life)
6. I spoke to your sister the other day, and I desperately hope that we’ll become close friends. She possesses all of the same wonderful qualities that you have. Sometimes, if I squint a little, I can pretend that it’s you I’m chatting with, and that makes my stomach ache, from guilt or something along those lines.
7. Here’s a secret: I’ve always disliked Game of Thrones. But then you told me how much you love it, and I couldn’t help but read the book cover to cover. George R.R. Martin really needs to stop needlessly killing his characters.
8. I’m beginning to forget the details of your face. I panicked the other day, and went through all of your Facebook photos. I was able to breathe again afterwards, because they brought the curve of your lips and the way your eyebrows crease back into focus in my memory.
9. Somewhere in this I almost said something important, but my heart jumped into my throat and cut my breath off before it had the chance to form into words, and my mind put walls up around my emotions that are far too tall for me to climb. It’s like my body is fighting a war against me, shooting bullet holes into my feelings and bombing my memories of you.
So, until the battle is over, I’ll tell you these eight things”
and leave one unsaid.